If You were God

There was something deeply disturbing about Raphael. Perhaps the way he looked past me, as if he could be talking to someone else. It was as if my efforts to communicate were with someone trapped under the ice shelf over a frozen lake. Not that he was unhappy. Much more than that. It was as if Raphael were at the end of a very long journey, leaving him deaf, blind and distraught. Not because he could not see or hear, but because his world had offered all it was capable of, and the bad consumed the good until there was no more. The only choice he was left with was to clamp close like an oyster, to shut me and my kind out, and for that matter, life itself.

Raphael had learned how quickly a man's world could disappear. In the jungles of Vietnam, fear melted in the firestorms. Blood and sweat and char were like daily bread. And if the world exploded, the earth would erupt and vanish into the sky. And so did his comrades. A bird with no feathers fell next to him on the rocks where Nicholas was. Naked like an infant. He had blue-grey eyes. And then he closed them. He looked down at his body, numb and smouldering like a log. One of the many logs in the smoke and dust around. One leg looked short and strange. The black camouflage on his hands and arms was gone. What would Sergeant Cliff say? But he won’t be able to apply it again because there’s no skin left to put it on.

And the Raphael he knew never came home again. It was as though he was still wandering those distant jungles, searching through smoke and shattered trees for something that had been lost, something he had been cheated out of, something he knew could never be found again. And peace and truth felt like lies he would never survive long enough to trust again.

His leg and crutches were parked neatly against the bedside table as always.
Raphael's face had become thin and pale beneath the scars. The patchwork of skin grafts over his face pulled his eyelids down in red, as if trying to force them open. But he stubbornly refused.
He took shelter behind them months earlier when the diagnosis was cast of end-stage cancer. And today would conclude his journey.

The silence was only broken by the echoes of his heavy breathing.
I dared to speak.

“Shall I call a priest?. The hours left are only a few now.” I said. 

Raphael’s eyes flew open in anger.
“Don’t you dare to call a priest!” He nearly snarled at me.
“You know how I feel about it. There is no God! And if there is one, he must be the worst of Evil, for running this place the way he does!”

And Raphael closed his eyes later that day, and never opened them again.

I have been contemplating telling you the story of Raphael for quite some time now, but I was not sure how to approach you. You see, we all struggle with the same issues of good and evil and with God's position in it all. In fact, the concepts seem to be built into our species by the Creator, as if our main task in this place is to deal with them in one way or another. I am unaware of any tribe or civilisation that has walked this planet since time immemorial without struggling with the same issues.

And, because it is such a heartbreaking struggle, I thought of daring to do this differently. 

What if you were God?
What if you had the opportunity to create a universe around the crown jewel, Planet Earth?

I know this sounds daunting, and you might well be in fear of committing blasphemy. But I promise to conduct this account with the greatest respect and humility.

You carefully sit down on the Throne of God.
All is wrapped in quiet and peace. The quality there of is both fascinating and inspiring to an earthling like yourself.
Time and Space have lost their meaning. Numbers no longer calculate, and democracy has no meaning. The concepts of good and evil, and of morality, do exist, but the context is different. Existence has a different description than Life.
Love is flawless.

And then Michael enters and introduces a stranger.
His name is Lucifer. Some call him Satan.
Lucifer speaks well, looks impressive, and is confident. He tells about his research and his hypothesis. He claims a large following.
And suddenly you realise that Lucifer aspires to be God.

As he senses your take, the tone of his voice becomes more assertive, perhaps even demanding. Lucifer talks about the restrictions under your reign on Love, Morality, and Goodness. And then he claims that total freedom, with no restrictions or limitations, would bring an abundance of opportunity and achievement.

You read pride, self-exaltation, and deception.
Finally, Lucifer stops talking and the quiet returns.
And then I hear you ask of Lucifer: “Where is the evidence that this would go well?”

On this, the demeanour of the revolutionary changes. He becomes adamant and challenging. He accuses you that the evidence is invisible since the restrictions in your Kingdom would not allow his hypothesis to be tested.

His voice echoed down the hallways of heaven and reverberated through space and eternity like the far-off thunder of war.

So you decide to create a unique theatre outside your realm, called “Earth”.
You set the blue planet up in all its beauty against the dramatic backdrop of stars, moons, and planets strewn across the universe. You decide to run the concept on the novel principles of Time and Space.

And then you created humans in your own image. You passed on a sense of love, care and goodness, the drivers of your Kingdom.
You then issued each with a limited-lifespan body, generated through the fascinating laws of science built into your creation.

The stage was set for humans to walk the earth.
From hour to hour, they would be free to choose between you and Lucifer.

At stake is the very Throne of the Almighty God.

‍

From the outset of the Battle between you and Lucifer, things go really bad for the Kingdom of God. The Handbook describes how early humans chose the enticing fables of Lucifer over obeying God's instructions. And from there, despite the implications of human choices becoming visible, his freedom cries won him great support. Soon anger, greed, corruption, deceit, immorality, murder and war were daily practice. Yet the visibility of Evil did not stop humans from pursuing Lucifer's freedom.

In fact, before long, the Handbook describes a desperate God as “regretting that he made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled”.
And Lucifer, obsessed with power, became even more confident of winning the battle against the All-Mighty God.

‍

So my friend, you find yourself for the second time in your dealings with Lucifer, in the midst of an existential crisis.
Only, this time, there is no easy way out.
For your Kingdom and your people to survive would literally tear your heart apart.

You decide to play your final card, Jesus.

Jesus is your Son, your only Son. You decide to send Jesus on a fatal mission into the midst of the war. He was to explain the predicament, the challenge and the nature of his mission. He would invite all to accept his rescue plan and be saved from the implications of their choices.

But Lucifer was watching your every move. He would throw in all his skill to try to stop you from breaking his reign over the people he now firmly held in his grip.
So, he tried his utmost to murder your Son after His birth. But he failed.

He then waited in the shadows for Jesus to grow into a young man filled with vision and aspiration. And then he played his trump.
He approached Him as an honoured friend.
He took Jesus to a special place where they could see far and dream big. He showed him the planet's beauty and introduced him to the glory and potential of all the world's riches and powerhouses.

And they marvelled at the grandeur together.

And then Lucifer slapped Him on the back with an irresistible offer.
“Now, my friend”, he said. “I will give all of this to you, all the splendour of the world for the taking. All for free! All you have to do is simply bow down and worship me.”
And Lucifer smiled.

But Jesus turned his back on Lucifer, rebuked him and walked away.

So your Son's mission succeeded.
And the people you made turned on Jesus.
They hated Him with fists in the air. They spat on Him, mocked and humiliated Him.
And then they tortured Him and nailed His war-battered body to a cross.
And when he died, the earth shook, and the sun covered its face in shame.

And you held the broken body of Jesus in your hands, your ransom for the people of your making. For those who choose to accept it.

The last breath slipped through the lips of Raphael, and his face fell limp. I placed my stethoscope on his still heart, and my fingers signed the form with the letters “Life Extinct”. I looked into his empty eyes and wondered where Raphael was.

My friend, take my hand, and I will help you off the Throne of God.

For you and I are not to judge; we are only to love.